Remastered Catalog
After decades of dormancy, the Douglas Firestein catalog has been revived for what Syrupan Records is now calling a “comprehensive remaster initiative.” In reality, it’s eleven albums hastily processed through whatever equipment was still plugged in. The new remasters are based on seventh‑generation copies of the original master tapes. These historical artifacts were recently discovered in a mislabeled cardboard box behind an old vending machine. Once the finance department noticed the tapes were still technically “assets”, they insisted on monetizing them. Thus, the Firestein Remaster Campaign was born!
Bringing the legacy of Firestein back to life was no small task. Mostly because nobody wanted to do it. A small team was assembled consisting of interns, one part‑time engineer, and a guy from IT who knew where the power strip was. The tapes were warped, dusty, and smelled of mildew. To remedy this, they were meticulously cleaned in a powerful mixture of dish washing detergent and spring water. When asked whether this allowed the team to restore the audio to its original fidelity, the lead engineer said:
“The cleaning could only do so much so we boosted the volume a little. That counts for something. We also applied a random filter curve that some dude online said was good. The results were shockingly mediocre. Still, we are proud to present these remasters to the public. They truly represent the best possible outcome given the circumstances and the condition of the tapes.”
The entire remastered catalog is now available here on the official website.