Black Blessing

Written by Douglas Firestein

I frequent other churches
To steal their best ideas
And package up their sermons
It’s new to my audience’s ears

To gain their admiration
I have to sell the ideas as my own
They may have suspicions
But forget before they get home

God, please god
Your approval is a must
If I want to win the front row
While i blow my dicksy dust

I got the blessed scissors
And I’m trimming off my pubes
I collect them in this bible
Then blow them at the pews

If a hair gets stuck in your eye
For a moment it will sting
But the lord is with you tonight
With my black curly blessing

(Bless you child!)

One time another pastor
Sat in on a Sunday service
Moving their lips along with me
Cos they knew what every word was

I called the Cherokee nation
Who stormed in with tomahawks
The problem was soon resolved
When they lodged one in his skull

God, please god
If you really truly care
Turn away for a moment
While my crotch pollutes the air

I got the blessed scissors
And I’m trimming off my pubes
I collect them in this bible
Then blow them at the pews

If a hair gets stuck in your eye
For a moment it will sting
But the lord is with you tonight
With my black curly blessing

(Bless you child!)

Clap your hands y’all
(Clap clap your hands)
Raise it to the lord
(Raise it raise it)

I got the blessed scissors
And I’m trimming off my pubes
I collect them in this bible
Then blow them at the pews

If a hair gets stuck in your eye
For a moment it will sting
But the lord is with you tonight
With my black curly blessing

(Bless you child!)