Christmas For Suckas

Written by Douglas Firestein

You think you were good
But you been a bad boy
Lyin’ and cheatin’
Just gets you sad toys

You wanted a Ferrari
But I got you a fist
When you unwrap my gift
Boy, you gonna be pissed!

Santa Claus has three ho’s
I just have your wife
You been bad all year
So i’m givin’ her a good night

She’s exactly like you said
Talks weird and kind of ugly
But who am I to judge?
i’m still givin’ her little Dougie

I hope you understand
The message i be conveyin’
Cos if you talk back to me
The blood will start to sprayin’

It’s Christmas season now
So i will grant you some grace
As i scrape my brass knuckles
Across your porcelain face!

Santa Claus has three ho’s
I just have your wife
You been bad all year
So i’m givin’ her a good night

She’s exactly like you said
Talks weird and kind of ugly
But who am I to judge?
i’m still givin’ her little Dougie

Don’t try to call home later
You’ll just get the operator cos
TONIGHT I DECK THE HALLS
WITH YOUR LITTLE SUCKA BALLS!!

Santa claus has three ho’s
I just have your wife
You been bad all year
So i’m givin’ her a good night

She’s exactly like you said
Talks weird and kind of ugly
But who am I to judge?
i’m still givin’ her little Dougie