Catheter

Written by Douglas Firestein

I’ve been driving
(He’s been driving)
Thirty hours straight
You’ve been whining
(You’ve been whining)
Thirsty all damn day

You gotta pee now
(Gotta pee now)
I’m pulling off the road
I’m tired of hearing
(Tired of hearing)
Your bladder grow

You know there’s only one solution
That solves both of our problems

CATHETER
One end in your pecker
The other in your mouth
CATHETER!
Let the urine flow north
Watch a sucka drown

AFTERWARD
Dump your body in the lake
Watch it drift downstream
Into another……

(State state)
Into another
(State state)
Into another State…..

I’ve been laughing
(He’s been laughing)
Since yesterday
You’ve been rotting
(You’ve been rotting)
The bottom of the lake

Your body’s green now
(Body’s green now)
I’m poking it with a stick
It’s starting to swell up
(Starting to swell up)
It smells a lot like shit

You know there’s only one solution
That solves both of our problems

CATHETER
One end in your pecker
The other in your mouth
CATHETER!
Let the urine flow north
Watch a sucka drown

AFTERWARD
Dump your body in the lake
Watch it drift downstream
Into another……

(State state)
Into another
(State state)
Into another State…..

It’s been two weeks now
Since I read the obituary
If you ask me if it’s still funny
Well, I’d say VERY!

CATHETER
One end in your pecker
The other in your mouth
CATHETER!
Let the urine flow north
Watch a sucka drown

AFTERWARD
Dump your body in the lake
Watch it drift downstream
Into another……

(State state)
Into another
(State state)
Into another State…..