All Are Welcome Here

Written by Douglas Firestein

I’m the son of a preacher man
(No you’re not)
I care about the common friend
(No you don’t)

As I stare out at you all
(Your eyes are closed)
I see a version of myself
(Y’all go to hell)

If you’re tired of the words I preach
The way I walk or how I teach
Then why don’t you come up here?

If you want to lead the entire flock
Wear tight robes and stuff a sock
Then come along and bring a chair

All are welcome here!
(Do do do welcome here)

I stand before you a man of sin
(Yes you do)
But I’d never hurt my dear friends
(Yes you would)

As I heed the lord’s call
(Then hung up)
I share my love for you all
(You fake as fuck)

If you’re tired of the words I preach
The way I walk or how I teach
Then why don’t you come up here?

If you want to lead the entire flock
Wear tight robes and stuff a sock
Then come along and bring a chair

All are welcome here!
(Do do do welcome here)

I am full of so much shit
Yet you still give me cash
It would be a crime if I didn’t
Take advantage of your ass

If you’re tired of the words I preach
The way I walk or how I teach
Then why don’t you come up here?

If you want to lead the entire flock
Wear tight robes and stuff a sock
Then come along and bring a chair

All are welcome here!
(Do do do welcome here)