Lord Bless Me

Written by Douglas Firestein

I raise my hands to heaven
Grab a hold of the holy nuts
Give them a gentle squeeze
Like in the book of Testicus

If I grab the sacred meat
He’ll surely scream in pain
Just like all those women
I made yell out his name

I’m just a simple man
At the end of the day
So I pose this question
Tonight as I pray

Lord……..
Oh Lord…….
Why did you curse me
With a massive schlong?

Lord……..
Oh Lord…….
What am I gonna do
When it no longer gets hard?

(He’s got, he’s got, he’s got the long schlong)

NUTHIN MOTHER FUCKER!

I’ve been compared to Satan
For sleeping with dirty sluts
And spreading fatal disease
When I violate their butts

People fear the intense heat
Afraid it will melt their brain
But those worries are for nothing
That ain’t what the bible’s saying

I’m not a pleasant man
That’s what people say
But this ain’t about me
It’s Jesus lovin’ day

Lord……..
Oh Lord…….
Why did you curse me
With a massive schlong?

Lord……..
Oh Lord…….
What am I gonna do
When it no longer gets hard?

(He’s got, he’s got, he’s got the long schlong)

Open the good book
Read the first page you see
You know all the great parts
Were written about me

Lord……..
Oh Lord…….
Why did you curse me
With a massive schlong?

Lord……..
Oh Lord…….
What am I gonna do
When it no longer gets hard?

(He’s got, he’s got, he’s got the long schlong)