The Collar

Written by Douglas Firestein

The new church on main street
Has a pastor everyone respects
He thinks he’s something special
And I really hate to see that

I wanted a glimpse into his life
So I hired a private dick
I’ve got enough pictures and video
To cause a lot of trouble for him

I wanted to understand
How he runs things day-to-day
So I scrutinized all the footage
And it’s surprising I must say

He rams a cross up his ass
Writing sermons to all believers
Thinking of the little kiddies
As he pounds the holy wiener

I’m gonna write a letter as Joe
Enclose a donation of a dollar
And when he shows up at my house
I’ll tighten that clerical collar

Chokin’ (Chokin’)
Chokin’ (Chokin’)
Chokin’ out the SIN!!!!
Chokin’ (Chokin’)
Chokin’ (Chokin’)
Yeah, let the games begin!

The new church on main street
I heard the pastor recently left
Something about bad activities
From the anonymous note i sent

I don’t regret ruining his life
We don’t need another church near
I just wish that I had met his wife
She’s a freak in the bedroom I hear

It was always my plan
To drive any new blood away
I can’t afford those new pastors
To come and ruin my payday

He rammed a cross up his ass
Writing sermons to all believers
Thinking of the little kiddies
As he pounded the holy wiener

I wrote a letter as little Joe
Enclosed a donation of a dollar
And when he showed up at my house
I tightened that clerical collar

Chokin’ (Chokin’)
Chokin’ (Chokin’)
Chokin’ out the SIN!!!!
Chokin’ (Chokin’)
Chokin’ (Chokin’)
Yeah, let the games begin!