Christmas Wreath

Written by Douglas Firestein

(Sweet child, sweet sweet child)
(It’s mother fuckin’ christmas day)

It’s time to scrape the driveway
With your crooked front teeth
Shave the hair off your balls
Build myself a Christmas wreath
I’ll watch the birds build a nest
In your pubic hair for warmth
Cos no animals will be hurt
During the recording of this song

Look up in the morning sky
With snow flakes so large
It’s easy to lose yourself
Forget who’s in charge

I like to watch suckas pull up
Crack my knuckles as a stretch
Then yank them out of the car
Throw them on the pavement

(Sweet child, sweet sweet child)
(It’s mother fuckin’ christmas day)

It’s time to scrape the driveway
With your crooked front teeth
Shave the hair off your balls
Build myself a Christmas wreath
I’ll watch the birds build a nest
In your pubic hair for warmth
Cos no animals will be hurt
During the recording of this song

It’s mother (what?)
Mother (what?)
Mother fuckin’ Christmas!
Mother (what?)
Mother (what?)
Mother fuckin’ Christmas!

It’s time to scrape the driveway
With your crooked front teeth
Shave the hair off your balls
Build myself a Christmas wreath
I’ll watch the birds build a nest
In your pubic hair for warmth
Cos no animals will be hurt
During the recording of this song