Ornaments

Written by Douglas Firestein

Christmas eve is here
The children lie in bed
Suckas breakin’ into houses
Tryin’ to rob shit from them

But little do they know
Old Dougie is here waitin’
To give them the poundin’
I spent all year anticipatin’

(Fa la la la)
Better get to spreadin’
(Fa la la la)
Between your cheeks they’re headin’
(Fa la la la)
Ornaments of glass
(Fa la la la)
Goin’ up your ass

I’m gonna beat you (ooooh)
I’m gonna beat you so hard
Shatter all that glass
Into a thousand tiny shards

The morning sun appears
As they lift their little heads
No signs of the reindeer
Transporting all their gifts

This is how it had to go
That is all i’m sayin’
When suckas turn to stealin’
My game starts to playin’

(Fa la la la)
Better get to spreadin’
(Fa la la la)
Between your cheeks they’re headin’
(Fa la la la)
Ornaments of glass
(Fa la la la)
Goin’ up your ass

I’m gonna beat you (ooooh)
I’m gonna beat you so hard
Shatter all that glass
Into a thousand tiny shards

The kids give their Mom a gift
From the man who saved Christmas
When she unties the ribbon
Out flops a full 9 inches

(Fa la la la)
Better get to spreadin’
(Fa la la la)
Between your cheeks they’re headin’
(Fa la la la)
Ornaments of glass
(Fa la la la)
Goin’ up your ass

I’m gonna beat you (ooooh)
I’m gonna beat you so hard
Shatter all that glass
Into a thousand tiny shards