$10.99
Firestein Bumper Sticker™
Out of stock
Description
Slap this masterpiece on your vehicle and instantly transform your daily commute into a mobile warning label. The Douglas Firestein “I Break Suckas” Bumper Sticker features Douglas’s face in full, unearned glory. Marvel at the glorious snarl cast upon those “suckas” who look like they deeply regret being involved in whatever this is.
What You’re Actually Buying
- Firestein’s Iconic Mug: Smirking with the confidence of a man who thinks traffic laws are “suggestions.”
- A Crowd of Suckas: A slew of bewildered faces arranged like a yearbook page nobody asked for.
- Bold Font: “I Break Suckas” printed loud enough to make minivans change lanes out of respect or fear.
- Premium Adhesive: Sticks to your bumper, your laptop, your fridge, or your dignity—though only one of those will survive the experience.
Ideal For
- Drivers who want to broadcast chaos
- Cars that already have too many opinions
- Anyone who wants strangers to wonder, “Is that… a threat?”
Disclaimer
Sticker does not actually break suckas. Douglas insists it “sets the tone,” which is somehow worse.
