Sacrilege Written by Douglas Firestein On the eighth day of ChristmasI was jerkin’ off in the labSaving a puddle of my batterInside a zip-lock bag This tasty treat was donatedTo the local church bazaarThey used it as shaving creamOn the Nun’s private parts Mystery ConceptionOh, Read More …
Category: Lyrics
Sign the Dotted Line
Sign the Dotted Line Written by Douglas Firestein I got a coupon(Got a coupon)Delivered in the mail(In the mail)Opened the envelope(Opened the envelope)It was quite a deal(Quite a deal)Unfolded my wallet(Unfold his wallet)Pulled out a fist(Pulled out a fist)They must be crazy(Must be crazy)To think Read More …
Soul 2 Leave
Soul 2 Leave Written by Douglas Firestein It wasn’t too long agoWhen I was a big dogTop of the music sceneAt least in my genre Everyone knew my nameControversy was intenseNow it’s been several yearsSince I’ve had any hits Now don’t get me wrongI am Read More …
Guzzle
Guzzle Written by Douglas Firestein I was deeply in loveHead over heelsWhen i learned about himIt hurt me for reals I found your PolaroidsPictures so obsceneYou think that i don‘t knowBut i’m just pretending You and me babyKicked back in the shadeSmiling at each otherSippin’ Read More …
No Wings
No Wings Written by Douglas Firestein My name is DougI live across the streetSomeone’s in my basementThey can not breathe I could use some helpIf you have time to spareTo put them in my trunkThey’re too heavy for the stairs Don’t ask any questionsIt’s best Read More …
Instructions
Instructions Lyrics by Douglas Firestein Welcome to my homeWhere I place my shadesIf suckas gonna intrudeThen they will have to pay I got security camerasThey plot your every moveI wish i could turn them offThey’re watching mine too There’s a lot more to meThan the Read More …
Where’s My Money?
Where’s My Money? Lyrics by Douglas Firestein I just sold five million recordsDon’t give it a second lookYou’d never know of my successBased on my check book The fat suits at the labelsThey steal all of my fundsI’d like to drop some namesIt’s not only Read More …
Blazin’
Blazin’ Written by Douglas Firestein My baby girl she isA precious gemstoneGlimmering in the nightShe brings color to my eyes I wear her bath waterLike designer cologneNow that I’ve loved herMy heart is a-flutter But that bitch went crazyDropped me for a suckaNow I’m on Read More …
I Ain’t Done
I Ain’t Done Written by Douglas Firestein I put on my black shadesWhen I roll out of the bedNot a whole lot has changedI still don’t have many friends The business is going slowI can’t punch as fast as beforeJust because I’m getting up thereDon’t Read More …
Firestein Time
Firestein Time Written by Douglas Firestein Do you love meThe way i love myself?I truly doubt it Do you want meSingin’ songs like someone elseI’m not about it I have always marchedTo my own damn beatNow suckas be thinkin’They gonna change me? Are you offended?(I Read More …